This long winter feels like it’s been waiting with me, new life of spring still underground as I get bigger and bigger with the baby. I’m practicing patience, seeing progress everywhere: The green tips of the first crocuses emerging, drywall up in our new room, a belly button that’s on its way inside out.
In a way, I’m glad March is taking its sweet time to warm up. It’s inviting me to stay a little while longer under the covers, moments to contemplate the bumps and stirrings beneath the surface of my skin. I’m becoming one of those women whose left hand returns over and over to that spot between her ribs, where the rounding begins.
Growing up, my mother always encouraged me to strive to be a well-rounded person, to seek out and soak up new experiences. I know this child is going to change me in ways I can’t imagine — already this mystery person inside is putting everything into a new perspective. I want to continue to be well-rounded after s/he is born. To acknowledge the dependence of another individual but to become neither a sun nor a moon. To explore in tandem. For motherhood not to be a totally different identity, but an addition to the things I also am.
These are the daydreaming days. I’ve begun writing out our baby’s potential names. I smile making the swirling Js of his or her surname (our children will have Joe’s) and wonder what’s in a name. I was a bossy little one with a wild imagination, chattering away. Joe’s family says he was sweet and shy, choosing his words thoughtfully. Just a few more months to go.
Photos from the 25-week mark by Bethany, taken at a Valentine party she hosted for moms and kids. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by a community of fantastic women who are navigating that transition to motherhood with creativity and love.